SNOW ANGEL

Winter covered the entire land in sparkling frost,
Reminding me of a beautiful thing that once I have lost,
But soon this winter will be part of my lonely past,
And free this empty heart from the pain and grief at last.


It was already winter season. The breezy atmosphere was spine-chilling. The winter had blanketed the world in white creating a magical hush, slippery surfaces, and beautiful vistas. Everybody was wearing their winter clothes. The road was full of active individuals as each one was too busy shovelling a massive ton of snow to clear their pathways. Children were playing everywhere. Some were struggling on the snow to chase their playmates, while other kids were throwing a snow ball to each other. Others spent their time skiing on the high elevated places. The giggling sound of the children was in the air. Their screams enveloped the entire place. Their laughter seemed like a pleasant sound to the ears.

I was walking along the road, heading to a place where I was going to meet Miguel. Miguel was my childhood friend and my ex-boy friend. We had been together for almost 6 years during our school days I guessed. But things suddenly changed, that caused us to break up. He and his parents migrated to other country for I didn’t know the reason for almost 4 years. He never told me and that broke my heart so bad. I just found it recently when they came back home after 4 years to permanently reside here. That’s why I decided to meet him today. But before I meet him at the park, I decided to walk to the places we used to go to and reminisced our intimate moments together.

I was wearing my dirty white, turtle-neck sweater that was made of wool and complimented with faded blue jeans. On my head was a navy blue winter hat and I equipped myself with a pair of navy blue thick gloves. A scarlet scarf wound around my neck and a pair of snow boots protected my sensitive petty feet from the cold. I was wearing my hazel brown winter coat. I strode steadily enough until I reached the pine street. There, I stood for a while and watched the children fooling around cheerfully on the vast space piled with huge flurry of white cotton.

I turned on the other part of the familiar space. Then, I saw vaguely myself in my younger years playing snow ball fight with Miguel. I saw him scooped snow with his hands, compacting it into a roughly fist-sized ball, and ready to throw the ball at me. I tried to dodge his throw, but it caught me and dropped me dead on the bed of white frost. He strove enough through the snow toward me to help me recovered from his throw. When he reached my place, I unexpectedly pulled him over and he laid next to me. I sat on the ground and grabbed a handful of snow, put on top of him. I did it over and over again to make a pile of snow on him. He tried to stand up by breaking up the load on him and wiped off for a while. I hastily got up and moved away from him. He ran after to chase me. Then, a thin curtain of snow fell from the vast cloudy sky that day. I could see myself laughing hard while running away from him as white flakes descend delightfully over us. After some few minutes, he caught me and held me close to him until we laid on the cold and soft white fluffy ground again and the image of my younger self and Miguel just disappeared from my sight.

“Those were the happy days” I whispered to myself as prepared to have another walk.

Leaving the Pine Street, I made a turn to the left and wending my way through the avenue of chestnut trees. I looked up and down the road. I could see the houses and trees were covered in condensation so thick. From the place I was standing, I could see through the window a guy sipping a mug of hot chocolate. There was nothing like sipping delicious hot chocolate seated around a blazing fire. It was warm and comfortable during the cold winter day. Staring at that guy behind the window reminded me of the moments with Miguel.

We were sipping a hot chocolate, sitting beside a nice warm fire. We were sharing s’mores that we split with one another while watching a romantic movie with a comfortable, over-stuffed chair. Wrapped in blankets, he was sitting next to me, his arms around me while I was leaning on his shoulder. We could see through the window the feathery flakes scattered widely through the air, and hovered downward with uncertain flight. The wind blasted so hard, giving the fallen snow flakes to ride the harsh wind in an unknown direction, making it hard to see the entire surrounding. We chose to stay inside the house and shared intimately this moment. Nothing was has more passion than cozying by a fire with him. It was really the most excellent background to find out more about one another better. We enjoyed each other’s company, exchanged stories, we giggled and we even shared a passionate kiss over a cozy romantic background.

A loud buzz coming from a coaster van in front the house I was staring at kept making the noise that distracted me from my deep sentiments. I assumed he was inviting the guy to come out and went somewhere else. I shook my head and grinning, I couldn’t imagine I’m thinking of him again. I guessed I really missed Miguel so much. I looked at my watch and read the time; it’s almost 2 o’clock in the afternoon. So I continued to walk again. At a turn of the road, I dived into the woods and soon reached the public demesne.

I placed myself beneath the shade of the pine and surveyed the entire park. The place was wide enough to accommodate a large group of individuals. There were stone benches standing at every corner of the area. In the middle stood an oval-shaped rink lined with marble not more than four feet in height. Variety of trees surrounded the demesne.

I started to make few steps toward the stone bench that stood ahead of me. When I reached the bench, I sat comfortably on it. I took a glance over the whole place again. My gaze was frozen at the rink.

A lot of various people were waddling around the ice; some were chasing each other while others were holding hands as they glided around the frozen ground. As I placed my stare at the centre of the rink, I saw again myself in my younger years standing amidst the skaters on the ice rink vaguely. I had noticed that I was standing still, with my legs shaking, hesitant to make a step, because I was afraid that I might lose my balance. Miguel then was one of the skaters speeding around the rink. I struggled to make a step toward the wall so that I could cling on to it. He just looked at me laughing the way I was gliding my skates on the ice, but then, he said I needed to try by myself first, clinging to the wall, and every few feet he’d have made it around the rink again and he’d stop to check up on me. He was literally the fastest guy out there, even did cute little spins and things then smiled at me as he passed by. Once I got halfway around the rink by dragging myself along the wall, he came back, grabbed my hands, and dragged me out to the middle again.

He started to teach me slowly how to balance myself by holding my hands. He then removed his hold from me and my legs started to shiver again. I tried to keep my feet even and bent over so I could lower my centre of gravity, but then again, I made a ridiculous fall, and I accidentally and not purposely dragged him down with me.

That moment, my heart throbbed so unusually, and everything moved so fast. He was on top me while I was lying on the ground at the centre of the rink and all the skaters sped up around us. I couldn’t even see their faces, all I could see that moment was Miguel and I knew he wanted to kiss. I closed my eyes and ready my lips for him to kiss.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself again on the bench. I guessed I was just reminiscing again our intimate winter moments. I just felt a chill on my face. I touched my cheeks and found some moist on it. I didn’t notice tears had fallen from my eyes. So I dried my cheeks and stood up. Then, my eyes surveyed the whole place but this time, something caught my attention. On the left corner of the place, the oak tree stood firmly, alongside side the frozen creek. On its magnificent branch, there was an old hanging tire. Not far enough from the tree stood a stone bridge above the creek. And I stared still at swing for a while. I unconsciously walked toward the old swing, struggled enough from the snow. When I reached the hanging tire, I placed myself on it and started to have a swing.

I found myself swinging faster and higher, the feeling was so light, seemed all my worries were swept away for a while. It was the same feeling when I and Miguel were having such fun on this old tire. The swing became higher and higher and I couldn’t control it, until I fell on the ground. I laid on the bed of thick snow and saw a huge load of snow from the branches dropped over me. I immediately covered my face with my two bare hands to protect it from the snow drops. I let few more snow fell over me and stayed still on the ground.

A familiar voice called my name that was coming above me. I hurriedly removed the covers on my face and looked straight at the person who called me. I saw Miguel above me and he was looking down at me. He was smiling at me. My face turned red seeing him smiling back at me. He still looked the last time we see each other. I guessed migrating to a better place would preserve the youth on you. Then, he slowly extended his hands over me to help me stand up again. When I tried to reach him, he just disappeared in the air, like a thin smoke.

“Sigh… I was dreaming of him again.” I said to myself in a low tone.

I laid still on the snow, and took a very deep breath. I looked at the infinite cloudy sky and tried to find formed images from the clouds. There, I found silhouettes of some animals such horse, bear and birds. In the western part of the sky, where the sun hid itself on the enormous cloud forms, I found a very rare image. It was a figure of a winged-man shining so bright with the rays of the sun behind it. I stared at it, then, I remembered something that Miguel was always doing during winter season.

Lying flat on the snow comfortably, I raised my hands directly above my head to form a straight line. I started to move my arm down to my side, while spreading and closing my legs at the same time, pushing the snow as I moved. After making a good impression on the snow, I sat for a while and slowly stood up; avoiding in ruining the one I had made and jumped to an area away from it. Then, I turned my back to view what I had made.

Surprisingly, somehow it looked like a snow angel, but not as beautiful as the one Miguel was making. I heard laughter that was coming from the other side. I looked around and found couple chasing each other dreamily. I smiled while watching the two playing around. Then, the guy suddenly stopped running and stood still on an undisturbed snow. The girl just stared at the guy. The guy leaned backward until he fell into the snow. And when he was settled, he swept the snow by his arms and legs at the same time. He was really good in making an impression into the snow. When he had done, he stood up carefully and jumped away from the snow angel he was doing. He presented the snow angel to the girl.

“Always think of me whenever you see a snow angel. I’ll always be with you when you see one… when times that I no longer beside you…” he said to the girl.

And the girl turned to the guy and jumped to hug him. And they fell into the snow again and suddenly disappeared.

I just smiled to what I had witnessed. I remembered that it was the moment Miguel showed me the most perfect snow angel I had seen in my life, before we broke up. Tears had fallen unstoppably from my eyes. Remembering those happy moments always made my tears to fall down. I took another deep breath and looked again to my snow angel. Then, a soft breeze passed by me.

“I will always with you…” I heard a cold voice in a hissing tone

I turned around to find who owned the voice, but I found no one. I guessed I was imagining again. It only showed how I badly missed Miguel. Everything just reminded me of him.

I just remembered that I would be meeting him. I looked at my watch and it’s already
5 o’clock in the afternoon. I guessed it was time to go to the park to see him.

I hurriedly went to the meeting place. When I reached the park, it was covered in snow – it’s almost a beautiful sight, too peaceful – seeing all those seemed like stone benches “peeking out” through the snow. Trees stood everywhere, leafless and the branches were covered with thick condensation. I continue to struggle across the vast plains covered with snow. After a few blocks more, I reached the place. There, I saw Miguel sitting on small stone covered with snow so thick. He was smiling and I smiled back at him. I stop for a moment, closed my eyes and pondered. The surrounding was so silent. I could even hear the sound of the wind as it passed by. When I’m done pondering, I looked at Miguel again, walked toward him. As I moved toward him, he was gradually disappearing into the thin air. When I was near the place, He was totally gone. Then, I bent over to the snow-covered stone where he was sitting and moved away the white frost on top of it until the stone was shown. My finger touched the engraved letters on the stone. I got something white stick out of my bag, placed it on top of the stone and lighted it with my lighter. I closed my eyes again and pleaded my prayer in silence for Miguel to have the eternal peace in his life forever…


by Bhelat